Mass Effect Playa: The School Yard Years!
by Super-Saiyan-3-Vegeta
Summary: Five years have passed since the events of the Pregnant Saga.. What has become of our Hero... What has become of His wives?... find out in the startling conclusion to the epic trilogy that is MASS PLAYA! Story now completed. special will be released later
1. And So it begins

**Chapter 1**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect or any of its characters. Those belong to Bioware and EA.**

**Thanks everyone.**

_**Five long years have passed since the events of Mass Effect Playa The Pregnant Saga... The Reapers have been defeated thanks to a nifty idea of Shepard using a Custom Made Super Dooper Soda Can thrower that Converted its spare waste into a custom made Makos that given by the sheer number of Reapers Shepard was able to start his own Mako business and today its thriving well. Garrus has become his business partner as well as Joker who on the side runs a transport business for the new school that they set up on Illium Where Miranda in her new job as a School teacher are currently enjoying their lives. As for Shepard and the others... well Ashley got pregnant within 3 weeks of their wedding and gave birth to a healthy baby boy. The other women started enjoying their new found lives of mother hood. Now.. its been five years and the kids are getting ready to start their first year of school...**_

"Mom.. Where are our lunches?" Caleb asked his mother.

Kasumi turned towards her son. She had long ago given up being a thief and decided that raising a child was more challenging than stealing.

"It's almost done. Now be a good boy and go ask auntie Kelly if she'll help me with the cooking." She said to her son.

"Yay.. I get to wake auntie Kelly." He said disappearing in a blur.

She sighed and turned to the twins who had each stolen a biscuit. "Hey! Hands off until everyone's here and the food is done" She threatened while waving a spatula in the air.

"Yes Mam" Both twins said in unison. She thought about the twins for a moment. While unique in their appearance they biologically possessed a more human factor. They were able to eat human food without any difficulty. She turned to the girl "Kessa... make sure you and your brother John wash your hands before eating. Now run off to the bathroom and scrub those paws clean ok." She said smiling down at them.

They nodded and bolted off towards the bathroom nearly knocking over Jack who came in carrying Paul the newest edition to the family and who was only a 13 months old.

Kasumi studied the Biotic. She had changed a lot since that era it seemed. While still covered in tattoo's she had let her hair grow out and down to her shoulders. She was constantly badgered by men when ever they went shopping. She would promptly make them piss in the pants by using her biotics to threaten them.

Jack proceeded to put Paul in a highchair before grabbing a bowl from the cabinet and getting a jar of "Strogs yummy intergalactic tasty cereal" from the cabinet next to it.

"What the hell are you staring at?" Jack asked opening the fridge.

"I'm just still getting used to seeing you with long hair." Kasumi said as she flipped another pancake.

Jack grabbed a jug of orange juice and after popping off the top promptly started to chug it down.

Kasumi made a face "I really wish you wouldn't drink it like that. It spreads germs you know.l" She said turning back to the pan.

Jack finished drinking and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. "What's the matter? You scared of catching something from me?" Jack said smiling wickedly at the former Thief.

Kasumi just sighed and put the pancakes in a plate than proceeding to pour another batch into the pan.

"How long before breakfast is done" Jack asked pouring some 0.0001% low fat guaranteed to build muscles milk into the bowl for Paul.

"Well if I can get some help I can finish in about thirty minutes or so" Kasumi said.

"Hope you get some help than" Jack said not taking the hint and proceeded to feed Paul his cereal.

At that moment another blur appeared in the Kitchen.

"Mom! After School can I invite Mr. Skittles to our tea party?" Jack's other child Jacquie asked.

Jack chuckled at the name of her daughters imaginary friend.

Jack smiled at her daughter "Sure sweetheart. Now go wash your hands so you can eat your breakfast like a big girl ok?"

"Yes mommy" The little girl said before tearing off after towards the bathroom.

The blur passed Kelly who came into the kitchen with a yawn.

"I was starting to worry that Caleb had forgotten." Kasumi said as Kelly washed her hands and joined her to help with the cooking.

Kelly popped a fresh container of Asari coffee into the high tech coffee maker and set the timer before turning back to the stove.

Ashley walked in rubbing her eyes and plopped down into a chair.

Kasumi looked towards the former soldier "Emily keeping you up all night again?" The thief asked referring to Ash's and Shepard's second child.

Ashley groaned "Yes... She just won't get on a proper sleep schedule. Hell.. It's been three years and I'm still trying to get used to odd day night thing around here."

Kasumi turned towards Jack "Hey where's Shepard?" She asked glancing at the clock.

Jack yawned before answering "He's still in bed" The Biotic answered getting up and making her way over to the coffee pot.

"And Tali?" Kelly asked.

Jack glanced at them smirking "I got up on the left side and last I saw she was laying on his right." The biotic said while fixing herself a cup of coffee.

"Oh.. I almost forgot. When is the commemoration?" Kasumi asked turning towards Kelly.

"This Saturday at 4" The red head answered while cracking some fresh Golgot eggs.

Ashley started making faces at a Paul who let out a few giggles.

"Where's Jake?" Kelly asked turning towards the former soldier.

Ashley turned towards the red head "He's determined to dress himself. He said he was a big boy now. He's really excited about starting school." Ash said turning back to making faces at Paul.

A little blur shot into the kitchen before skidding to a stop "Mommy.. Caleb won't let me brush my teeth.. and Jake keeps trying to tie my shoe laces together." Rebecca said pouting.

Kelly turned to her daughter. "Let mommy finish helping auntie Kasumi ok. Now go and wait for Caleb to finish than you can brush your teeth. And as for Jake tell him that if he doesn't leave your shoes alone that I'm sending his mommy after him."

Rebecca stood there for a moment with her lip poked out before nodding and heading back down the hallway.

Jack watched the little girl go before turning to Kelly "That's why I've been telling Shepard that we need a third bathroom installed. I mean hell this is a mansion we got more than enough space." The Biotic said.

"I know I know." Kelly said.

"Has anyone heard from Samara and Alexia?" Ashley asked turning to the group.

Everyone was surprised when Samara gave her daughter a human name. Even more surprising was the fact that she retired from being a Justicar and currently traveled to different Asari colonies giving lectures and the code and duty of a Justicar.

"Last I heard their on Thessia for the next week" Kasumi said while putting the pancakes on top of the other ones she had cooked.

Finally both women sighed and wiped their brow.

"Ok We've cooked 3 dozen pancakes, 12 eggs, 15 slices of toast, and 20 slices of bacon. Do you think that's enough?" Kelly asked Kasumi as they grabbed the various plates and set them around the table.

Kasumi chuckled "For the kids yeah"

Both women chuckled and began setting the table. It was at this moment that Tali made her entrance.

She walked in wearing her usual robes.

In the span of five years thanks to the brilliant help of Dr. Mordin Solus Chief of medicine for the council. A great break through was discovered for the Quarian race and thankfully their immune systems were recovering fast. In fact within another five years they will be able to live without suits again. Tali on the other hand having been around and interacting with Shepard on a frequent basis outside her suit and given the fact that she had volunteered to be the first test subject when Mordin put the idea forward her body adapted extremely fast. She still got a cold almost bi-weekly but it was becoming less and less.

Kasumi marveled at the female Quarian. Her long black hair was braided and reached almost to the woman's waist. Her green eyes gave off a glow effect that Kasumi was pretty sure drove their husband crazy at night.

"Good Morning everyone" Tali said making her way over to the cabinet and grabbing a bowl.

"Good morning" The women said in unison.

Tali proceeded to open a jar of "Zag's Mighty Quarian Bran Jelly" before grabbing a couple of slices of "Quarian's Super Awesome Bread" in the process.

After she fixed her plate she joined the others at the table.

"Where's Shepard?" Kelly asked Tali.

"He should be righ" She stopped as the man himself made his appearance.

"Greetings everyone" He said kissing Tali before making his rounds and kissing all his wives minus one.

"Morning honey" They said in unison.

He smiled and sat down.

"So what are you doing today after the kids leave for school?" Ashley asked.

He smiled "Well I promised Grunt that we would hunt lions. Don't ask me why but he said its a challenge. I'll be staying in the hover car while he takes them bare handed."

The women starred at him in horror and amazement before sighing.

"Well if that's what makes Grunt happy" Kasumi said as she fixed another plate and spread it around the table.

"First thing your going to do after breakfast is go with us to take the kids to their first days of school." Jack said giving Shepard a look that made him rear back slightly.

"Yes Dear" He swallowed.

Kasumi had to smile. If there was one woman that could keep Shepard in line it was Jack... though Ash could give her a run for a money to a certain degree.

There was a knock on the door and They all said "Come in" in unison.

The door opened and in walked Garrus with his daughter Gresia.

"Garrus" Shepard said jumping up and enveloping his old friend in a hug.

Garrus chuckled while patting Shepard on the back. It's been a week hasn't it. He said sarcastically.

Shepard winked at him before sitting back down.

Garrus sighed "I swear Shepard I have no clue as to why you of all people settled on this small colony."

Shepard smiled up at his friend "Now Garrus you know the council were adamant about us being around major population centers and all." Shepard said.

Garrus sighed and nodded "Yes Yes... but still you destroyed the Reapers. The last they could have done was let you live on a major planet. Hell even your home world would've been better than this rock."

She shook his head "I kind of like it here. It's small and there's enough people so that we don't get lonely. And the best part is. My wives and children are happy."

The women smiled at him.

"Speaking of which when are we taking the kids on their first trip to the Citadel?" Kasumi asked.

Shepard thought for a moment "Well we can go this Saturday after the Ceremony. Than well just spend a night at a hotel there and head back Sunday afternoon" He said finally.

All of the women nodded their heads.

Kelly turned to Geisa "Are you hungry dear? Want some breakfast?" She asked the little Asari girl.

"Yes mam. Thank you for offering" The little girl said before joining them at the table.

Garrus pulled up a chair and began to talk to Shepard about old times.

As the other children started to pour into the kitchen Kasumi couldn't help but smile.

Their lives were great. Their children were happy and healthy. Things were great.

Suddenly Jacquie's eggs went flying through the air and landed on top of Garrus head causing everyone to burst into laughter.

Garrus sighed and Jack scolded her daughter for using her Biotic's as the twins swiped the rest of the rolls from the plate.

"Who stole all the roles" Jake groaned.

Yep things were great but getting crazier don't you think?...

**A/N: Well I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. While this made seem a little different than the norm for the Playa saga I wanted to give a little background and update on the characters. I may do a second chapter which continue the school yard years but I also may plan to skip a head a few years to where the kids are now teenagers and dealing with teenage life. So it's an juggling act right now. Thank you everyone. Till next time... "Keelah Se'lai"**


	2. Chapter 2

**Eggs Don't Taste Great?**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect or any of its characters. Those belong to Bioware and EA. Any movies, music, or tv shows I mention or there characters belong to their rightful owners. **

**Thank you everyone.**

**In A Galaxy Far Far Away...**

…**..**

…**...**

"_Oh? Wait a tic wrong story mate sorry" The Narrator of our story said._

"_Anyway where were we oh yeah this takes place a couple of weeks_

_After the last chapter. Events have transpired that bring our hero's and his gang of kids to the Citadel in an effort to avert disaster that is the wraith of _

_his wives for their children want to see the glorious Citadel. As our lone male hero struggles to please his wives and children... some things aren't _

_quite what they seem..._

…_..._

"This is the Normandy SR-3 requesting permission to dock" The pilot said over the com.

"Citadel Control here. It's glad to have ya... dock in docking bay 28... there is a delegation awaiting your arrival. Citadel Control out." The operator said.

The pilot turned around to face the man standing behind her. "Everything is in the green sir." The pretty brunette pilot said.

The figure did not move but the smile that flashed sent a chill down the young woman's spine.

"Excellent my dear... all is going according to plan" The figure said stepping back into the shadows.

The pilot was about to turn when she heard a curse followed by a crash. She turned hitting the light switch and found the mysterious man on the floor face down.

"Sir... you tripped over a mop bucket again." The pilot said.

The man slowly got up while cursing. "How many damn mop buckets we got on this damn ship.. I mean seriously I think you and the others are doing this for fun"

Unbeknown to him the pilot glanced past him and saw several crew members exchanging credit chits.

"Are you listening?" The man said snapping her attention back. She nodded her head and the man turned to leave.

…...

David Anderson sat in his office with his fist glued to the side of his face. He was bored and not only that he had a bad stomach ache.

He opened a drawer and pulled out a bottle of gas relief medicine. He took a swing and put it back.

He sighed. He was expecting Shepard and the gang any moment now. Suddenly his stomach started to rumble extremely loud and before he could react he cut one.. one that threw him across his desk.

As he lay over his table the foul smell quickly hit him. As he moved to stand up their was a knock on the door. He panicked and quickly ran to the window behind his desk. He opened the window that looked out over the Citadel. He quickly began fanning the flames so to speak.

The door opened and he quickly jumped back into his chair and tried to appear nonchalant.

Instead of Shepard in walked Wrex followed by a few members of his clan.

"Anderson I... what's that smell?" He paused sniffing around.

Anderson momentary panicked but composed himself quickly. "I'm not sure.. there has been some plumbing issues." He said coughing slightly.

Wrex eyed him momentary before shrugging and sitting down.

Anderson let out a hug breath before asking the leader of the Krogan why he was here on the Citadel.

"Well Anderson as you know thanks to Shepard defeating the Reapers he was able to get the Salarian's to finally develop a cure for the Genophage." Wrex said.

Anderson nodded "I know this.. but why are you telling me this?"

Wrex smiled making Anderson raise an eyebrow "Simple.. we want an embassy on the Citadel now that we are an officially recognized by the Council."

Anderson looked shocked.

…...

"Daddy! Daddy! Is that the Citadel?" Jacquie and the other children said in unison.

"Yes it is... its big huh" Shepard said kneeling down next to his kids.

"Now." He said momentary breaking their concentration. They all turned to look at him.

"I want you all to promise me that you'll be on your best behavior ok" He said.

All the little ones eyes stared up at him. "Yes Dad" They said in unison.

She sighed and was about to get up when Kessa spoke something that basically sealed their next few days.

"Yeah.. you act like something bad's going to happen" She said.

**A/N: Thank you everyone for reading and enjoying. On a note for some reason I had the star wars theme blasting in my head for most of this fic. Till next time :D**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3...**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect or any of its characters. Those belong to Bioware and EA. Any movies, music, games, etc... that I don't own belong to their rightful owners!**

**One...**

**Two...**

**Buckle... **

**My... **

**Shoe...**

Anderson raised his eyebrow as the door to Shepard's ship opened and Shepard stepped out followed by many children.

"HA! You sow your seeds well Shepard... you'd make a Krogan proud" Wrex said beside Anderson as Shepard stepped over to the two.

"Uh Thanks... I guess.. That's kind of the reason all this happen in the first place." He said rubbing the back of his head.

"Interesting.." Wrex said as three of the children began doing laps around him.

"They sure do have a lot of energy." Wrex said eying the three.

"That's an understatement." Jack said stepping up to the two carrying Paul.

Wrex nodded his head low in respect "It is an honor to meet you" He said smiling at the convict. She gave him a puzzled look. "What do you mean?" She asked.

"I have heard the tales of your deeds.. and I must say that you would've made an excellent Krogan." Wrex said smiling.

"Maybe back than.. but I'm a changed woman now.. isn't that right pooky" She said holding Paul up and making funny faces at him. Paul started to giggle at his mothers antics.

Wrex nodded and saw the other women stepping out of the ship and his eye ridge raised "Don't tell me that all of those women are your brides?" He asked looking at Shepard.

Shepard nodded. Wrex was silent for a moment before He roared in laughter than he grabbed Shepard in a bear hug. "Ha Ha I always knew you had it in you." He finished while putting Shepard down.

"John I just wanted to let you know that Kessa and John just tossed a rather expensive looking piece of equipment over the docking platform." Tali said stepping up to the group.

John jumped before running over to the two. Wrex smiled as he watched him go before turning to the new comer.

"I don't think I've encountered your species before" He said studding her.

Tali burst into giggles "It's me Wrex.. Tali" She said.

Wrex gave the 'Huh' expression.

"Oh that's right I keep forgetting that I don't have to wear my suit anymore." Tali said flashing a small smile.

Wrex was about to reply when Jack shoved in front of Tali "Ok! Where is Jacquie?" Jack said looking left and right.

Everyone glanced around looking for the child but she was nowhere in sight.

"Shepard! Get over here now" Jack yelled.

Shepard came running over quickly "What is it?" He asked.

"Jacquie's missing." Jack said.

"Well look for her." He said. As he started to move Kelly yelled. "Rebecca's missings also." The redhead said.

"As well as Jake." Ashley finished walking up and looking around.

"Spread out everyone!" Shepard yelled. "There's something I have to do" He said walking off.

…...

Garrus and Tevos sat on the bench staring out at the water fountain.

"It's beautiful my love" Tevos said wrapping her arm around Garrus tighter.

Garrus closed his eyes and thought about all the things that had happened to him since he met Shepard. Some bad... like getting part of your face blown off and than some good.. he thought as he opened his eyes to stare at his wife's face. But strangely she was staring up.

"What is it?" He asked as he turned his head upward to look as well.

In the sky was a flashing 'Batman' symbol.

His eyes widened "Honey I have to go. Duty calls." He said taking off in a hurry.

…...

"Do you think he's going to come?" Tali asked staring at Shepard's portable bat signal.

"Of course. He's The Bat Garrus remember" Shepard said smiling.

They heard a thump and turned to see Garrus in a rather tight looking Batman costume.

"Have no fear for under.." He started coughing as if he had a hair ball "Sorry wrong line. Now where was I?.. oh yes Where there is evil.. where there is people that have stomach problems and people that need help and peo.." Shepard cut him off "Yeah Yeah shut up already"

He growled in frustration but hoped down and came over to them.

"How can I help you citizen?" He said placing his hands on his hips.

Shepard and the wives dead panned.

"Garrus... we know its you" Shepard said.

Garrus face lit up in embarrassment "I have no clue what your talking about citizen." He said quickly training to regain his composure.

Shepard sighed "Anyway three of the children have disappeared and we need help to find them before they get themselves into trouble."

"What makes you think they'll get into tro..." He stopped seeing the look on Shepard's face "Your right their your children after all." Garrus finished.

…...

A hooded figured hobbled along the corridor with a woman in tow behind him.

"There is one of the children now" The figured stopped and pointed towards a table.

There sat the Jack and Shepard's daughter Jacquie eating an ice sundae with a big smile on her face.

"How did she get an ice cream and why is she by herself?" The woman next to the figure asked.

"Who cares... now is our time to attack" The figure said as he stepped out from the alleyway heading towards the little girl.

As he came to a stop next to her she paused in eating her ice cream and turned to look at this new comer.

"Can I help you sir?" She asked.

"Yes my dear.. I want to convert you to the darkside." He cackled an evil maniacal laughter.

She looked at him not saying nothing for a moment before speaking "Sure... as long as you can buy me lots of ice cream."

He placed his hand under his chin to think about it "Very well... now eat your ice cream my dear.. we have much to do." He said smiling.

…...

Citadel Traffic Control Officer Tarik had recently started at his new position. He was proud it took years of training and hard work to get to where he was at. He was excited. He was the first rookie in years and as such he was bound to make a few mistakes right? Well his first mistake of the day was leaving his post to flirt with a few females in the nearby office.

Unknown to him a little figure watched him leave before climbing into the chair and looked at the controls.

"Cool a Video Game" Jake said smiling as he began pushing buttons.

…...

Markcus sighed as he served another order of Ramen noodles to a customer. He had taken over for his uncle after the disaster of five years ago. His uncle barely recovered. It wasn't a bad job but it was boring sometimes.

He quickly prepared five bowls and sat them to the side. He turned to get some more salt and when he turned the bowls were gone.

"What the?" He said aloud looking around.

In an alleyway near the stand a figure stood next to four discarded bowls. A loud burp was heard as a fifth soon joined them.

"Now to get some candy" Rebecca said as she stood up and went in search of said candy.

…...

"Shepard have you found them yet?" Kelly said as she spotted the former Commander.

"No I haven't" He said sighing.

Suddenly alarms started blaring. Both looked at each other before muttering "Shit!"

**A/N: I'd like to think everyone for everything.. you guys and girls rock. Till next time...**

…**..**

**..**

**..**

**.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect or any of its characters. Those belong to Bioware and EA. Any movies or music I may reference belong to their rightful owners. **

**Thank you everyone.**

**It Hits The Fan?...**

"Crap that can't be good" Kelly said looking around as alarms went off.

"Ya think Red." Jack growled.

"Ok nobody panic.. I got this" Shepard said.

Jack raised an eyebrow at Shepard. "Really?" She asked.

Shepard look appalled to think his wife had doubt in him "Of course who do think I am." He said striking a superman pose.

Jack sweat dropped "An idiot" She said.

Shepard shook his head and headed towards the elevator.

"Where are you going?" Jack asked.

"I... I'm not quite sure." He said stopping and turning around.

Jack sighed irritably and turned around.

"Alright listen up everyone. We need two volunteers to watch the children till we get back with the other three." Jack said.

Jack looked around as no hands were raised.

"Fine.. you big ugly" She said pointing at Wrex who had the 'Who Me?' expression written all over his face "Your number one." She said.

"Now just..." He didn't get a chance to finish as she cut him off.

"You! Yeah you baldy your number 2." Jack said towards Councilman Anderson who was rubbing his head with a sad look in his eyes.

"You two are going to watch the kids and for gods sake do not let them out of your sight or hell will have no furry like a bunch of pissed off soccer moms." Jack growled.

"Yes mam" Both said in unison as they saw the look that would have peeled the varnish off of a footlocker if it had eyes.

….. meanwhile...

"Now if I just press this button here..." Jake said as he pressed a few yellow buttons.

Suddenly the room started spinning and he quickly hit the button again.

He sighed maybe he shouldn't be pressing buttons at random. He glanced to the right and saw a huge red button that said 'DO NOT PRESS' and he being a curious child pressed.

Suddenly a very audible computerized voice said "Megazord Sequence has been initiated."

"What?" He murmured.

...meanwhile...

"Are you sure about this?" Jacquie asked looking up at the hooded figure.

"Of course my dear I know your biotics are still new but all you have to do is turn those men upside down so we can get their credit chits and than we can have all the ice cream you want." The hooded figure said.

Her eyes lit up like tiny suns. "You mean it?" She asked.

The hooded man nodded.

She squealed and quickly did as the man asked causing a yell from the two gentlemen that she had just used her biotics on.

The hooded figure walked over and grabbed the chits and walked back towards Jacquie.

"Excellent my dear.." Now lets get that ice cream.

She looked at the men one last time before the thought of endless ice cream overcame her and she turned and headed after the hooded man and his female companion.

….elsewhere...

"This is just... I don't even know what to say" Anderson said as the girls in the group they were watching were busy playing dress up with him and wrex.

Currently they had painted a ton of make-up on both Wrex and himself.

He turned his head to see Wrex smiling.

"Your enjoying this?" Anderson asked surprise evident in his voice.

Wrex nodded "It is a great honor to wear warpaint." He said as he closed his eyes so Kessa could do his eye bones.

Anderson sighed.. _~remind me to kill Shepard~_

…...and?...

Rebecca walked along the corridor before it opened up into another part of the district.

She looked around before she stepped out of the shadows.

Her eyes lit up as she stared at the big red sign in front of her.

"Gacks Big Candy Shop" It read.

"YAY!" She yelled as she practically ran into the store.

….

Bat Garrus looked around from his perch high above the citadel.

"Where are you?" He asked as he surveyed the city.

Far down below a couple of C-SEC officers were walking along when one of the stopped and grabbed the others arm

"What the hell is that?" He asked pointing at the outline of what looked like a giant bat to him.

"I don't know but lets shoot it." The other officer said pulling out his gun.

Garrus was broken out of his train of thought has he heard someone yelling below.

"Hey you! Hold it right there." One of the officers said before firing his gun.

_~Crap!~ _was Garrus's thought as the bullet hit his armor causing him to tumbling backwards and hit the ventilation shaft. He quickly tried to catch himself but it was no use as the weight of his armor pulled him downward and so with a yell he fell through the shaft before making a very audible CLANG when he hit the bottom.

…...

Shepard and Jack were walking down the street singing do wah diddy dom diddy do.. oh wait never mind...

…

….

Shepard and Jack glanced at the various buildings as they walked along the street.

"Seen anything?" He asked Jack but the biotic only shook her head.

Suddenly a man wearing an apron went running out of a store screaming in front of them.

Both looked at each other and quickly ran into the store. It was a candy store and they both gasped at the sight in front of them.

Rebecca lay passed out with her stomach swollen and the whole store was in shambles with candy everywhere.

"Well we've got one... now we jus..." She didn't get to finish as the ground started to shake.

"Ah Hell!" Shepard cursed.

**A/N: So.. another chapter in the books.. I want to ask you all something what do you do for inspiration? Me I listen to music. I even listen to walkthroughs with commentary especially if their funny. So drop me a line on what you do for inspiration. Till next time.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect or any of its characters. Those belong to Bioware and EA. Any movies, music, or etc.. that I mention belong to their rightful owners.**

**Thank you everyone**

The shaking suddenly stopped and to Shepard and Jack's horror a massive figure appeared in the distance.

"A Robot? Really?" Jack asked with a sigh.

"Yep.. and you can bet one of our kids is it." Shepard said.

"So what do we do?" The ex-con asked.

"Find a way in and get our son out before it blows up or something." Shepard said heading towards the robot.

"What about Rebecca?" She asked glancing at the sleeping child.

"I'll take her" Kelly said stepping into the store.

As Kelly picked up Rebecca the little girl opened her eyes "Mommy.. my tummy hurts." She said pouting as Kelly hugged her child.

"It's ok baby. Now let's get some rest ok." She said turning and heading out of the store.

"Well that's one down and two to go." Shepard said.

"Right. Let's go" Jack said. And with that the two headed out the door.

…...

Kasumi and Ashley made their way down the alley as they continued their search for the children. When the shaking started they weren't sure what was going on. When they spotted the giant robot they knew that it was the work of one of the children.

"Ash we sho..." Kasumi didn't get to finish as she quickly jumped out of the way as the wall she was standing in front of crumbled to the ground.

Both women turned and looked down the alleyway to see Jacquie and two hooded figures standing there.

"Jacquie what are you doing with those people?" Ashley asked.

The little girl seemed uncertain before one of the hooded figures spoke up.

"She is with us now." One of the figures said.

Ashley raised an eyebrow "Wait a second.. I know that voice."

In response the figure started to sweat. "You have no idea what your talking about." He said.

In a flash Ashley was standing in front of them. Before anyone could react she promptly kneed him in the groin.

As he fell to the ground clutching himself his hood came off.

Kasumi's eyes widened in surprise "Joker? What the hell?" She asked quickly joining the small group.

Ashley turned to the other who removed her hood to reveal herself as Miranda.

"Hey guys what's up?" She asked smiling.

"Just what have you been doing with Jacquie?" Ashley asked.

"Just teaching her the basic's of her biotics oh and pick pocketing." Miranda said.

"You were teaching her how to be a thief? No offense Kasumi" Ashley said glancing at the former thief.

"Non taken. Now why did you teach her that?" Kasumi asked.

"Well we only did it that once cause you see we lost our luggage when we checked in at security. Apparently there were a few items in our bag that were considered illegal and they confiscated it." Joker said.

"Ok... so why didn't you just ask us to help you out with cash?" Ashley asked folding her arms over her chest.

"Er... I didn't think of that." Joker said.

Miranda face palmed "I tried to tell the idiot that. But you know how men are." She said and the two women nodded.

"Well. We need to get back and let everyone know that Jacquie is alright. I have a feeling that Shepard's probably already trying to take that giant robot down." Kasumi said.

As the women turned heading back the way they came Miranda grabbed Joker by the ear causing him to cry out.

"Come along dear." She said.

…..

Shepard and Jack arrived at the scene as the giant robot smashed a small building.

"How the hell are we going to stop that thing?" Jack gasped.

"How bout we bring a reaper back from the dead, than we smother the robot in jello, than we launch the reaper at the giant robot. I'm pretty sure it will be hungry coming back from the dead." Shepard said.

Jack dead panned.

Suddenly they heard a loud grinding noise and turned to see the robot power down.

"Why did it stop?" Jack asked.

"Because I unplugged it." A voice said in the distance.

As the smoke cleared they caught sight of Garrus er... Bat Garrus... or what was left of him.

His costume was ripped to shreds and he had a few gashes here and there.

"How did you do it Garrus?" Shepard and Jack said rushing up to him.

He sighed and struck a pose "Only the Garrus knows what the Bat Garrus knows."

Shepard and Jack simply stared at him "Huh?" Both said in unison before quickly shaking their heads "What about Jake?" They said.

Garrus smirked and walked over to the leg of the robot. He banged on it once and they heard a loud tumbling noise before a loud crash and a door popped open on the leg and promptly spit Jake out onto the ground.

"You alright Jake?" Jack asked.

The boy nodded and got to his feet.

"So.. let's get back to the ship ok. I'm pretty sure everyone's worried about us." Shepard said. As he turned around he was greeted by several dozen pistols in his face.

Shepard sighed as Jack and Garrus put their hands up. "Why can we never have an uneventful time at the Citadel." Jack said.

…...

"What the hell Shepard? I mean seriously what the hell?" Tevos said as she furiously paced back and fourth with the other two counselors remaining quiet.

"I'm really not sure what to say" Shepard said as he sat at the table. His wives were with him but the children were in the waiting room with Wrex and Miranda.

"We have reports of your children mugging, destroying government property, and effectively putting a candy store out of business." The Turian counselor said.

"Well..." Shepard tried to say but a glare from Tevos silenced him.

"Shepard you leave us no choice.. But to permanently ban you from the Citadel. Bear in mind also that the damages from the destruction your children caused will be taken out of your savings account here on the citadel." The salarian counselor said.

"I have a savings account?" Shepard asked raising an eyebrow.

"Not anymore." Said the Turian counselor.

Shepard sighed and nodded.

"So... what now?" Jack asked.

"You leave!" Tevos said. She than turned to Garrus who had been sitting quietly this whole time "And you... your ass is grass when we get home mister." She said glaring at her husband.

Garrus gulped and nodded.

…..

As Shepard stepped back into the Ship with his children in tow he stopped in the airlock as Joker came up and shook his hand.

"It's nice to see you again Joker.. but next time don't try to corrupt one of my kids ok?" Shepard said.

Joker nodded "Not a problem.. by the way can we hitch a ride? They kind of took everything we had." He said.

Shepard nodded and Joker and Miranda stepped into the ship.

Finally Garrus came up and promised that once he got out of the dog house he would visit.

The door closed and Shepard turned towards his children who were watching him "So... How did everyone enjoy the trip?" He asked.

All their faces lit up "It was awesome. Can we do it again" They said.

Shepard smiled "That's my kids."

**A/N: Thank you everyone for everything. Sorry It's taken awhile to get this out but work and personal life are always in the forefront ya know. Till next time :D**


End file.
